• Guy Jeffries

Baywatch Review


Director: Seth Gordon

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Priyanka Chopra, Kelly Rohrbach, Ilfenesh Hadera, Jon Bass, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Hannibal Buress, David Hasselhoff, Pamela Anderson.

I remember watching the original TV series as a child and yeah, it was enjoyable to watch, but I remember little else from the actually episodes apart from the opening credits with Jimi Jamison's "I'm Always Here" playing and those slow-mo bikini shots. Oh, and Hasselhoff's hairy chest.

Johnson takes the role of Mitch Buchanan leading the dedicated lifeguard team on Miami Beach. He's obviously big, strong and the main man on the beach being a local celebrity. And then enters Efron, as 2x Olympic gold-medalist, narcissistic Matt Brody. I kinda wanna say his name like Bad Boys Mike Loooooowrey, Matt Brooooody. It has that same ring to it.

Their major clash of egos and personalities create some competitive comedy gold, especially the constant name calling that references each of their films outside of Baywatch. There's nods to the original series, but if you don't remember the TV programmes then they'll be wasted. The two of though and co. try to put their differences aside whilst trying to crack a case that's threatening their peaceful beach, being totally out of their duty and jurisdiction. It's a simple plot for a simple film and doesn't need anything more in terms of story.

It has a similar set up to the series but is no way a serious take on the TV series at all. In fact, it almost directly ridicules the programme but not in a terrible way. It's loaded with that now accepted, new form of crude toilet humour that wouldn't have warranted a 15cert back in my day. It's surprising how much dick is in the film. But again, it appears to be totally acceptable to have a penis as the the focus of the laughs and this films does it more than once. It's Seth Gordon from Horrible Bosses at the helm, so it shouldn't be too much of a surprise.

I don't know why, but I could strangely see some resemblance of this cast versus the original cast. Which is strange because they look nothing alike. Maybe my brain is just filling in the gaps between the names and characters. What I do know for sure if that if I had a fish tank, I want those mini Rock figures in the tank.

It starts off really well with some hilarious moments that'll stay with me, but it quickly runs out of breath and belly flops right at the end. Not really worthy of the big screen. I can just imagine the fun these guys must of had making this.

Running Time: 6

The Cast: 6

Performance: 6

Direction: 7

Story: 5

Script: 6

Creativity: 7

Soundtrack: 5

Job Description: 5

The Extra Bonus Point: 0

Would I buy the Blu-ray?: Nah.

53% 5/10

#SethGordon #DwayneJohnson #ZacEfron #AlexandraDaddario #PriyankaChopra #KellyRohrbach #IlfeneshHadera #JonBass #YahyaAbdulMateenII #HannibalBuress #DavidHasselhoff #PamelaAnderson